So without further delay, here goes. Enjoy:

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign the read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed–just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

Sorry, maybe I should have said cleared of committing a double homicide.

The fact of the matter is, that now, years after his name was cleared in what was one of the most publicized trials of the 20th Century, O.J. Simpson is confessing. Well, maybe not confessing, but our lovable running back is now trying to tell his version of how he ‘would have’ killed Nicole and Ron. I’m wondering, was this to fill the need of telling the public how things really happened? Was O.J. just sick of all the speculation surrounding the events? Maybe he’s just had a lot of time to concoct the perfect double murder during the many years that he’s been trying to find the real killer.

I’m sorry, but to come out with a ‘speculative’ book about how your ex-wife and her boyfriend ‘may have’ died (when you were put on trial for the deaths) just smells like O.J. Simpson is trying to show the world just how big his brass balls are. Or were, considering that the book and subsequent TV special has been, for the time being, shelved due to public uproar. This is understandable, considering that it’s akin to Scott Peterson choosing to teach children to swim if he’d have been punished with only community service instead of the death penalty. As for O.J.’s book, at least we would have finally had the chance to hear, in my opinion, the most accurate account of how the deaths occurred. I mean, who better to tell the story than the kill…er…. man that was at one time accused of the killings(**did you get the pun).

That little tid-bit right there is probably the most intriguing news story to come out over the last week, unless you take into consideration the people that were robbed, shot at, shot, and swore off showers, all in the hopes of securing a Play Station 3. Whoopty-freakin-doo!!! Way to sacrifice countless precious minutes/hours of your life in order to buy something that will be $100 cheaper in 6-8 months. I’ve played one of the ‘Next Generation’ is video games already, and while they are phenomenal in graphics and all the good stuff, I just can’t see spending $600, plus the cost of an extra controller, plus any number of accessories to make the system fully functional. Call me crazy, but for the time being (this week) I’ll continue ravishing myself with the games of the first generation XBox. I mean hey, the PS3 is certainly no Zune. Yes that’s a joke, and yes you should laugh.

Fantasy Update: In the past two weeks, my ‘big money’ team has climbed from a $158 deficit to a $10 profit. Thank you Ocho Cinco and Carson. Who says Christmas comes after Thanksgiving? For this small accomplishment, I give you a new Terry Tate, new feature presentations, and new links. You can thank me later. Oh, and people in Washington, what’s with the animal love? For the love of god, I like animals, but I show my admiration in different ways that don’t involve orifices.

~Enjoy

**kill…er, put them together and there you go.

I’ve moved on from that tragedy that was the ALCS, on to more tragic areas. Those areas are namely my 4 fantasy football leagues. It’s a sad state of affairs in my football world. The Raiders stink on ice, my fantasy teams all might as well be renamed NFL underachievers, and to top it all off Notre Dame has a snowball’s chance in hell of playing for the National Championship in college.

Hey, at least the NBA season is right around the corner, though. So I have another year of Kings basketball to look forward too. This year should be an exciting one. A new coach, who apparently likes to party, judging from his recent DUI arrest. Funny, I always pegged Mike Bibby to be the next winner of those sweepstakes. Ron Artest, in uniform for an entire year, and apparently leaving his bad-boy antics in Indiana. Now if only we could find a sucker to take Kenny “I’m not as good as I think I am” Thomas off our hands, we might be a force in the Western Conference. But I digress…..

Another tragedy is that Stephen Hawking and his wife are getting a divorce after 11 years of marriage. Probably a little overdue, considering that a few months back the wife was reportedly arrested for endangerment after leaving Hawking out in the back yard during an extremely hot day, giving him deep sunburns and dehydration. This time there has also been talks about both sides engaging in extra-marital affairs. There’s a vicious joke hidden in there somewhere… find it.

And finally, after 3+ years of staying the course, George Bush has decided that the ‘course’ must change in order for us to win the war in Iraq. Hmmm, what tipped him off on that? Mounting casualties all around? Increasing insurgent attacks? The increasing trouble the Iraqi government seems to be having in taking control of the situation? Now I’m no rocket scientist but it would seem to me that if we should probably have a plan better than:

Invade country
Something
Declare victory

That way we might succeed at something more than tossing an unstable country into civil war. Good job Georgie, way to be pro-active. Maybe you should have had Terry Tate in the wings as a contingency plan.

~Enjoy

Sure, Steve made a life out of risking death at any moment by attempting to handle and piss off every deadly animal known to man. However, to get knocked down in your prime by the lowly stingray is a tough blow. I’d understand if it was a Corvette Stingray cruising along at 70 mph, but alas, that’s not what happened here. Nope, he was cut down by the same animal that appears in the ‘petting pools’ of every marine theme park in the world.

Apparently the Crocodile Hunter was hit with a blow to the chest from the barb of a stingray during the filming of a new movie. He’s said to have died on the flight back to a hospital for treatment from cardiac arrest (aka, a palm-sized hole in his heart). Knowing how safe he was at all times, even when looking like a madman, it just appears his luck, which he stretched to the limit, finally ran out. Granted most of his interaction with killer animals was on land, so he was able to be quick and nimble in trying to avoid death. This time though, he was clearly in the domain of the stingray, and was at a huge disadvantage.

Sad to see it happen. Sure, we all had watched enough of his shows to all start the occasional cheer of “take his arm off’, and the like. Many of us probably do this during any animal show were the host gets up close and personal with the animals. Not that we mean it, but it makes viewing a little more fun. Imagine if Marlon Perkins had been killed by a zebra in “Wild Kingdom”, or Joan Embry was bludgeoned to death by a monkey during a Carson taping. Deep down inside though you realize that they’re all pros who seem to be above freak accidents with animals. Of course for every Irwin, Perkins and Embry, there are also nut jobs like Timothy Treadwell. That’s the wacko who decided to live in the wild with bears whom he though were his friends. His efforts to teach the world about the compassion and love shown by bears backfired when nature ran it’s course and Tim was gobbled up by his bestest buddy right in front of an on-looking camera crew during the filming of the documentary “Grizzly Man”. A situation that I’m sure the crew went into thinking “is this guy just looking to die?”. No matter how cute an cuddly bears are, I’ve been beaten badly enough by common house-cats to ever dream of going Grizzly Adams.

As for Steve Irwin though, he seemed to make it all look so easy, that sometimes you forget that it’s so easy for it to go so very badly. With that, here’s a little video tribute for you to watch and remember all the great things you loved about the Crocodile Hunter.

~Enjoy